Coping With a Dying Loved One's Anger
Monday October 5, 2009
Anger is one of the five stages of coping with death. The five stages - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (also known as DABDA) - we're made popular by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in the 1960's and are still very relevant today. Anger is, perhaps, the most universal of these stages; nearly every dying person feels angry at some point during their journey. A dying person's loved ones and caregivers often bear the burden of this anger and may have a difficult time coping with it's repercussions.
There are some strategies caregivers and loved ones can use to cope with anger, and perhaps even help the dying person cope with it as well.
5 Tips for Coping With A Loved One's Anger
Comments
What was most difficult was that my 47 year old daughter was taking a strong steroid dose after radiation for terminal cancer that had spread to her brain. I was ‘doing’ her hospice, taking charge of her medication, among other care. Normally a calm and kind woman, two hours to the minute after each oral dose of the steriod, my daughter would be so angry that she was visibly oozing rage from every pore. which I know is a not uncommon reaction to steroids. One of her brothers visited her only days before she died, having refused to believe my first summonses to visit, and walked in to find her enraged after a steriod dose. I do not know what was said in their private conversation, but I gather she had a lot to say about the way I was treating and caring for her. That son is angry to this day about his sister’s death, 7 years ago, and there is no doubt that he blames me for the situation he found when he visited. I lost two children when my daughter died, and I grieve for my living son even now.