I am continually blown away by the members of the palliative care forum. People who have lost their parents, spouses, children, friends, and other family members reach out for support and it's always right there waiting for them. Health care professionals network and caregivers get advice.

A great example of the community there is the story of a woman who had moved 3000 miles away from family with her husband and lost him to cancer four years later. She felt abandoned by everyone she thought of as friends during her husbands illness and after his death. The original message was posted in January and has been a busy hub in the forum ever since. Friendships were forged and the woman finally got the support that she so desperately needed.

Have you lost a loved one recently and need support? Are you caring for a dying loved one and want to know your not alone? Are you a palliative care or hospice professional who would like to talk with other professionals about your experiences? Would you like to be there to offer support to someone in need? Visit the palliative care forum today!

Recent Messages:

Husband died, friends deserted us

Children's hospice nurses?

How can I help?

Physician-assisted suicide: Would you?

We've been hearing more talk recently of the medications being found in our water supplies; drugs from aspirin to Zoloft have been detected. How are they getting there?

For years, people assumed flushing medications or dumping down the sink was the best way to dispose of them. That would ensure that children, pets, and drug addicts wouldn't come across them in the trash. We now know that medications are adding up in our water supplies and it's unclear if and when they will pose a danger.

So, what's the best way to dispose of our old or unused medications? First, check with local pharmacies. Many participate in buy back programs or will accept your old medications to dispose of. If you can't find one or if it's not convenient, there are some steps you can take at home to keep our water supplies clean and keep medications from falling into the wrong hands...or mouths!

• Open capsules or place tablets into a small amount of liquid to begin dissolving.
• Dump dissolved pills or liquid medications into a small amount of coffee grounds or kitty litter and place into a can or plastic bag to dispose of.
• Flush medications only if the label says it's alright to do so.

There are many causes of dementia. Some are reversible and will be ruled out before the more serious, irreversible causes are diagnosed.

If your loved one is diagnosed with one of the irreversible, progressive forms of dementia, how do you know if and when they are ready for palliative care or hospice? Here are a few resources to help you as you make that decision.

Palliative Care for Dementia

Causes of Dementia in the Palliative Care Setting

About Alzheimer's

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_{Photo © Stockbyte/Getty Images}

The March/April edition of Caregiver Magazine ran an interview with Richard M. Cohen, an Emmy award winning television producer and best-selling author, and his wife Merideth Vieira, co-host of the Today Show on NBC. Richard has first hand experience living with chronic illness, having had multiple sclerosis for over 25 years and having battled colon cancer. Meredith has first hand experience as a caregiver of a loved one with a chronic illness. Together, their perspective on dealing with chronic illness is inspiring.

Richard has written and released two books: the first book, Blindsided, chronicled his battle with chronic illness and celebrates his accomplishments at overcoming adversity and his latest book, Strong at the Broken Places, chronicles the lives of five "citizens of sickness" who are battling various chronic illnesses.

In the Caregiver interview, Richard and Meredith encourage patients and families to rely on their family and friends for help, and to not feel embarrassed by asking for it. They also urge patients and caregivers to be responsible for their own care and to not give the doctor too much undue power. As Richard put it, "I think that people give doctors too much power. I laugh when I hear the phrase “doctor’s orders” because I don’t think of anything a doctor says to me as an order; I think of it as a suggestion."

Richard's advice to patients and their caregivers is to believe in themselves. "I think that people sell themselves short. People have a reservoir of strength and resilience that is invisible to them. It’s something that they cannot see, but it’s available to them and I think that if people believe in themselves and their strength a little bit more, the rest can fall into place."

Read the full interview in Caregiver Magazine

Visit Richard Cohen's website www.strongatthebrokenplaces.com

Caregiver Information and Tips (C.I.T.s)

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_{Meredith Vieira and husband author Richard M. Cohen, with their children Gabriel, Millie and Ben}

Photo © Getty Images

On Mother's Day, we honor our mother's and give thanks for all they've done for us, whether they are still with us or have already passed on. Mother's Day is also a wonderful opportunity to honor the brave mother's who have suffered the unthinkable - the loss of a child.

Unless you have lost a child, you can't possibly imagine how deep the wound goes, how intense the sadness and grief must be. I am blessed to say that I haven't known this unimaginable loss. I've been reading the stories of mothers who have lost their children and I've gotten a glimpse into their deep chasm of pain.

Join me in honoring the mother's who have had to face tragedy and try to find their way back by reading their stories. Here are just a few that only begin to let us inside their grief and allow us to follow their journey through it. Grab a box of tissues and read on....

Love and loss bind my ‘other mother’ and me by Linda Dahlstrom, MSNBC health editor

Bring The Rain: The Story of Audrey Caroline a beautifully written blog by Angie Smith about her experience with perinatal hospice and losing her daughter.

When a baby is destined to die an article in Linda Dahlstrom, MSNBC.com Health editor

Be Not Afraid stories of families who have received a poor prenatal diagnosis, continued with the pregnancy, and lost their child.

Read more about perinatal hospice.

Read more about pediatric palliative care.

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_{Photo © Diane Macdonald/Getty Images}

Mother's Day is this Sunday, May 11th. It's a day when we honor our mother's and show our appreciation for all they do for us. Mother's Day can be a difficult time for someone who is caring for their mother with a serious illness or for someone who has already lost her. Whatever your situation is this Mother's Day, I encourage you to find a way to honor your mother that feels right to you. Whether you are visiting her in a nursing home, caring for her at home, or treasuring your memories of her, Mother's Day can be a time of healing and renewal of spirit.

Thank you to all the loving, self-less moms of present and past!

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_{Photo © Stockbyte/Getty Images}

A May 5th article in the New York Times shared with us the concept of "slow medicine". It's essentially when a patient at home or a nursing home chooses palliative care, whether or not they qualify for hospice care. Slow medicine shares the hospice goal of comfort rather than cure. It encourages physicians to consider the risks and effectiveness of treatments and to "put the brakes on" treatments that are likely to have real benefit to the patient. It also educated patients and families on how to make wise decisions about the care the choose to receive.

Decisions about intensity of care are generally easy to make when a patient is in a nursing home. Most nursing homes have forms that are filled out on admission, often called preferred intensity of care (PIC) forms, that clarify what a patients wishes are regarding hospitalization, nutrition, antibiotics, etc. It can be a little more difficult when a patient lives at home. If something goes wrong, most people would call 911 without knowing whether that's what the patient would want and without knowing that there other options.

Advanced directives, Five Wishes, and Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) orders are three documents that can express a patients wishes in advance.

Read the full New York Times article

Hands Off! Do Not Resuscitate

Planning Ahead: Advanced Directives

What is Five Wishes?

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_{Photo © Stockbyte/Getty Images}

On May 5th, the New York Times introduced us to John C. Welton, a physicians assistant at Montefiore Medical Center in the Bronx, NY. Mr. Welton is a polio survivor who suffered post polio syndrome that has left him atrophied from the waist down. He wears leg braces and walks with crutches while he works 12 hour shifts in the palliative care unit.

The story about Mr. Welton is inspiring. He is an example of providing compassionate and competent end-of-life care, even in the midst of battling his own medical crises. Most recently, Mr. Welton has been experiencing symptoms of a weakened diaphragm including shortness of breath and difficulty swallowing. About his own health, Mr Welton says, “It’s nothing that’s gotten in my way yet.”

Read the full New York Times story on Mr. Welton.

Many of you are familiar with Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Mellon professor diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2006. I first shared his story with you in a March blog. Randy became a media sensation after delivering his "Last Lecture" about achieving childhood dreams. The lecture evolved into a book that Randy has been co-writing a with Jeffrey Zaslow of the Wall Street Journal. Zaslow shared the story-behind-the-story in the weekend edition of the Wall Street Journal, noting that Randy's final lesson is also that of how to say goodbye.

Zaslow shares how the book was written over the course of 53 bike rides, while Randy wore a cell phone headset and Zaslow typed away at the computer. He details how Randy is saying goodbye to his wife and his three young children. The article is a glimpse into the courage and resilience that Randy has shown throughout his battle. It's also a foreshadowing of the intense grief that his family will feel after he dies.

Grab a box of tissues and read the full article in the Wall Street Journal, along with the accompanying video. Then join me on the edge of my seat as I wait for the release of the book, The Final Lecture.

Watch Randy's "Last Lecture"

Read Randy's blog

The topics covered by About.com's family of guides is expanding weekly. Good news for the millions of people suffering with chronic pain. About.com welcomed Erica David, MD, a chronic pain specialist as the new guide to chronic pain.

You can read more about Erica and find excellent resources for pain management on her site http://pain.about.com.

More Resources for Pain Sufferers:

What is Pain?

Assessing Pain

Morphine for Pain Management