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How To Cope with Challenges Beyond the Basics

From , former About.com Guide

Updated: August 9, 2006

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Following a loss, death, tragic event or major life challenge, it may be difficult to remember to take care for oneself. After making it through the first few days just focusing on the basics, the grieving person may need some helpful suggestions to keep going. People turn to many different ways of helping them cope during times of challenge. This short list provides additional healthy coping strategies to keep the person moving and doing something beyond first few days.
Difficulty: N/A
Time Required: 5 minutes to read

Here's How:

  1. Create a Memorial. Depending on the circumstances and the person you may want to create roadside memorial, a home shrine or a bulletin board filled with letters, notes, poems and pictures. You may decide to create a sculpture, a collage or fill a scrapbook with memories.
  2. Help to plan and organize the funeral, memorial service, or celebration of life to honor the person who has died. Planning a service, tending to the details, is something active to do, during a time when people often feel helpless.

  3. Plant a tree or flowers in a garden in memory of the person lost.

  4. Donate--money, time, food, clothing or other needed items--to a favorite charity, homeless shelter, animal shelter or home for abused women.

  5. Donate blood at your local blood center. Donating is another way of doing something active and giving something back.

  6. Write sympathy and condolence notes, letters of encouragement and support to those affected by the loss.

  7. Thank the emergency and hospital personnel, highway patrol, police and firefighters for helping if the loss involved an accident or emergency.

  8. Be kind to others. Make space for the car merging in on the freeway. Don't use your horn unless it is absolutely necessary. Let someone with fewer items go first in the grocery store.

  9. Perform random acts of kindness. This will help to remind one there is tenderness and thoughtfulness in the world. Pay the bridge toll for the person behind you. Smile at the store clerk. Some choose to perform random acts of kindness in memory of the person lost.

  10. Volunteer your services or skills. Offer assistance to someone in need.

  11. Do something that can benefit others. Take a first aid or CPR class.

  12. Remember to tell your loved ones, friends and family how much you care about them often.


    Source - Updated from
    Dyer K. 2002. How to Cope with Loss, Grief, Death & Dying - Professionally & Personally. Presentation for California Maritime Academy's Dying: The Final Stage Course. Available at: http://www.journeyofhearts.org/jofh/about/way_cope

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