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Components of a Condolence Note

There may be times, when you prefer expressing your sympathy in a short note instead of a longer letter. Write a brief personal note on a commercial condolence card or insert a brief hand-written note into a card with soothing imagery. My mother is an amateur photographer and often sends one of her beautiful hand-made photograph cards as her own a personal touch to a condolence note.

When writing a shorter condolence note, Zunin and Zunin, authors of The Art of Condolence recommend including components 1, 2, 3 & 7, four of the seven key components:

1. Acknowledge the loss and the name of the deceased.
2. Express your sympathy.
3. Note special qualities of the deceased.
7. End the letter with a thoughtful word, a hope, a wish or expression of sympathy e.g. "You are in my thoughts and prayers." ("Sincerely," "love," or "fondly," may not be the best choices.)

The example of a condolence note below, provides a sample of how the components are used to help the writer organize a thoughtful, but shorter condolence note.

______________________

Example 2: A Condolence Note

Dear __________,

l. Acknowledge the loss.
I was saddened to hear of the sudden loss of your baby. I know you have been excitedly planning for her arrival which is making the day you say "Hello" be the same as the day that you say "Good-bye," be even more difficult.

2. Express your sympathy.
I am thinking about you during this difficult time and sending my heartfelt sympathy.

3. Note special qualities of the deceased or the bereaved.
I have seen you handle challenges in the past and know you will find your strength to make it through this difficult period.

4. End with a thoughtful word or phrase.
Holding you in my thoughts,

Your signature ____________

______________________

Final Thoughts

A good condolence letter or note is one that speaks from the heart. Use these guidelines as a starting point for writing your condolence note or letter. Just remember it is more important to express thoughts and feelings about the loss than following any script or formula.

Write from the heart. Write what feels right.

______________________

The next page has a list of resources used for this article.

© 2006. Kirsti A. Dyer MD, MS, FT. Licensed for use to About.com