Normal Grief Response

Loss is the disappearance of something cherished, such as a person, possession or property. Grief is the normal response to loss. Grief reactions may be seen in response to physical or tangible losses (e.g., a death) or in response to symbolic or psychosocial losses (e.g., divorce, loss of job, loss of health). Each can a result in a separate experience of grief and grief response.

A grieving person can experience various somatic sensations, social withdrawal and a general loss of interest in life. The physical symptoms and intense emotional manifestations of the loss may cause a grieving person to think that he or she is "going crazy." Knowing that symptoms are often very intense in the early stages of grief and that these intense experiences are normal reactions to an abnormal event can help reduce some of the anxiety from thinking you are "going crazy." Grief is a normal reaction to an abnormal event--the loss or life-changing event.

Dimensions of Grief
Reactions from grief can affect the whole person--the mind, the body and the spirit, resulting in physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual and behavioral changes. These intense feelings and physical symptoms are how the entire person--mind, body and spirit--copes with the loss.

A grieving person may experience many dimensions of a normal grief response--physical, behavioral, emotional, social and spiritual. Intense emotions e.g. sadness, longing, anger and guilt, are very common in the first few days and weeks of grieving; these emotional responses often occur in waves. The person may be feeling fine one moment and then depressed, anxious or distressed the next.

Complications from Grief
Unrecognized acute loss or unresolved long-standing grief can mimic various medical conditions. The grieving person may experience different somatic complaints: fatigue, insomnia, pain, gastrointestinal symptoms, chest pressure, palpitations, stomach pains, backaches, panic attacks, or increased anxiety. Potentially medically serious complaints require a through evaluation to exclude potentially serious medical disorders before a grief response, from Anxiety, Depression or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) can be diagnosed.

Resolution of Grief – Recognizing Life is Forever Changed
With a normal grief response, the natural course is a gradual decline in distress and symptoms. With time the loss, the intense initial painful emotions lessen to a level that allows the grieving person to function. The grief is no longer a daily all-consuming emotion.

The grieving process involves learning to adapt and adjust to a life forever changed by the loss, a life that can change in many different ways--developing new skills, changing a circle of friends, moving, changing jobs, giving up activities, taking on new responsibilities. This quote illustrates some of the changes that may occur and the new skills that need to be developed following the loss of a loved one.

I must learn to open bottles, move the furniture, open stuck windows, go home alone, investigate the noise in the night, eat alone, make decisions alone, handle money alone, go on trips along, fight with service companies alone, be sick alone, sleep alone, sing alone.

- Sonja O'Sullivan

One of the results of experiencing loss, crisis or significant life change is that the grieving person must learn how to accept that his/her life is different that it was prior to the loss and cannot return to the way it once was. The grieving person now lives a life that is forever changed.
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The next section looks at the Expanded Definition of Grief.

© 2006 Kirsti A. Dyer MD, MS, FT. Licensed for use to About.com.
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Sources:
Dyer KA. Acute Grief Response. Loss, Change and Grief. Journey of Hearts. 11 September 2002. 24 October 2006. <http://www.journeyofhearts.org/jofh/grief/grief_res>
Dyer KA. Transitioning into a New Life. Transitional Medicine. Journey of Hearts. 11 September 2002. 24 October 2006. <http://www.journeyofhearts.org/jofh/transition/transit_quest>
Dyer KA. Identifying, Understanding, and Working with Grieving Parents in the NICU, Part I: Identifying and Understanding Loss and the Grief Response . Neonatal Network. May/June 2005; 24(4):35-46
National Cancer Institute. Loss, Grief, and Bereavement (PDQ) 2005. Health Professional Version. 15 October 2005. 24 October 2006. <http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/pdq/supportivecare/bereavement/HealthProfessional/page1>