The death of a loved one is a difficult time. A well-written condolence letter can help ease the sorrow. In the letter you can send your sympathy and compassion to the grieving person as a reminder of supportive friends and/or family.
The most effective condolence letters are the ones written as though you were talking with the grieving friend or family member. Write the way you would normally speak to a person. Think of the sympathy letter as a visit on paper or a written condolence call.
Here's How:
- Acknowledge the loss and the name of the deceased.
Example:
Dear ______,
I was saddened to hear the news about the death of your father, _________.
- Express your sympathy.
Example:
Our thoughts are with you and your loved ones during this difficult time of loss.
- Note special qualities of the deceased.
Example:
I enjoyed getting a chance to meet your father, _________ during his visit to California. He seemed to be quite a character.
- Include a memory of the deceased.
Example:
I remember one time when we all went for the outing with the children. He seemed to be enjoying the outing with all of the children very much. What a beautiful day for a walk.
- Remind the bereaved of their personal strengths or special qualities.
Example:
I know that your great strength, family and friends will help you at this time of loss.
- Offer help, but make sure it is a specific offer.
Example:
I will call you in a few days to see if you need help with watching the children or with the memorial service.
- End the letter with a thoughtful word, an inspirational quote, a hope, a wish or expression of sympathy such as "You are in my thoughts and prayers."
Example:
Remember that "Those who live in the hearts of others never die."
Keeping you in my thoughts during this difficult time,
- (Your Signature) __________
Tips:
- For another example of a condolence letter, see the article on "Finding the Right Words to Write a Condolence Letter or Note."
- For more informaton see Zunin LM, Zunin HS. 1992. The Art of Condolence: What to Write, What to Say, What to Do at a Time of Loss. New York: N.Y. Harper Perennial.
What You Need:
- Stationery, Writing or Note Paper
- Pen
- Envelope and Stamp
- Favorite Quote Book
