The Four Things That Matter Most

This is a book that I can't stop talking about. I've recommended to my family, my friends, and now you!

My mother boarded a plane recently to visit my grandmother in another state. My grandmother is growing frail at 91 years old and each visit they have together may be the last. I told my mother about the The Four Things That Matter Most and recommended she look for it in the airport bookstore. I briefly told her what The Four Things were - I forgive you, please forgive me, thank you, and I love you - and hoped she would use them during her visit.

The Four Things That Matter Most first appeared in Dr. Byock's book Dying Well as the four things that matter most before saying goodbye. The Four Things, as Dr. Byock so beautifully points out, are not important only to those facing imminent death, but to all of us. Dr. Byock reminds us that we are all infected with "HMG - the Human Mortality Gene," and thus we are all going to die someday. He suggests that we shouldn't wait to say what matters most - it may be too late.

Our lives can be transformed by completing relationships and keeping them current. Touching, real-life stories illustrate how The Four Things can nurture and heal our fragile and complex relationships with those we love.

While I was telling my mother about The Four Things, we had an opportunity to say them to each other. I didn't stop there; I've been putting The Four Things into practice in my every day life. This book made me realize the importance of honoring my most treasured possessions - the relationships I have with those I love.