1. Health

Caring for Dad

Reader Stories: Death Stories - My Experience Caring for a Dying Loved One

From Kevin

Created October 12, 2010

This content is not monitored by About.com's Medical Review Board.
Before acting on this information, check with your health provider.

My Loved One Died On (Date, Day, and Time)...

Wednesday, Sept 22, 2010 7:08AM

Circumstances Surrounding the Death

Dad had a heart attack on September 3 and never left the hospital. His body more or less gave out on him, as we'd get one organ stabilized and another one (kidneys, colon, lungs) would start giving out.

One or all of our immediate family (my wife, my mom) were with him for most of his time in the hospital. My wife and I stayed with him the entire night before and up to the time he passed.

It was easily the most sacred duty I ever undertook.

Dad and I had a great relationship and we had no unresolved issues, but I told him everything I'd already told him for 45 years, just to make sure he knew. He knew.

My Experience As a Caregiver

While the nurses tended to most of dad's needs, I got to give him his final shave and would take turns with my wife applying chap stick to his lips because they would dry out so much. Dad apparently had MRSA so we had to put on gowns and gloves before we could enter the room. On his last two days I disregarded the gloves and gown as I didn't want Dad feeling like he was a leper and if he really did have MRSA he'd had it for a while and I'd never gotten it so I figured I wouldn't get it then.

I was correct, thankfully.

Lessons Learned

  • My lesson learned was that the love Dad gave me over the decades of my life and the examples he showed me gave me incredible strength to bare the burden of life without him.
  • Don't be afraid to touch your loved one while they are lying in the hospital bed. Don't make them feel any more isolated than they are.
  • These are still the people you've always known. Treat them that way.

1 of 6

©2012 About.com. All rights reserved.

A part of The New York Times Company.

We comply with the HONcode standard
for trustworthy health
information: verify here.