6 Reasons Why Dying Is Scary

How to cope with an unhealthy fear of death

A young woman looking anxious and fearful due to a fear of death

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The fear of death is quite common, and most people feel that dying is scary to varying degrees. To what extent this fear occurs and what it pertains to specifically varies from one person to another.

Some fear is healthy because it makes us more cautious, but people may also have an unhealthy fear of dying. Learn more about what causes a fear of dying, why people often feel that death is scary, and what you can do to manage this fear.

Who Has a Fear of Dying?

The fear of death is so common that it has spurred multiple research projects and intrigued everyone from scholars to religious leaders. There is even a field of study called thanatology which examines the human reaction to death and dying. Some interesting findings have emerged from studying the fear of death.

According to the 2017 "Survey of American Fears" conducted by Chapman University, 20.3% of Americans are "afraid" or "very afraid" of dying. It's worth noting that this survey includes other responses that involve death which are more specific. For example, murder by a stranger (18.3%) and murder by someone you know (11.6%) are also included.

Interestingly, almost as many Americans (20%) have a fear of public speaking. This thought has prompted comedian Jerry Seinfeld to quip, "This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy."

Women are more likely to have a fear of death than men. This is possibly due to the fact that women more readily admit to and discuss such fears. The fact that, historically, men are more likely to believe in dying for a cause or purpose may also contribute to this.

Some researchers argue that young people fear death more than the elderly. This is supported by studies finding greater death anxiety in people who are younger or middle-aged. However, not all studies agree. For instance, one study found that older individuals had a significantly higher death anxiety score than younger college-aged students.

Reasons Why Death Is Scary

It is possible to break down our general fear of death into several specific types of fears.

Fear of Pain and Suffering

Some people fear that when they meet death, they will experience excruciating pain and suffering. This fear can occur in healthy people, as well as in patients dying of cancer or other terminal illnesses.

Both palliative care and hospice care can provide people with greater comfort when approaching the end of life.

Fear of the Unknown

Some people have a fear of death due to fear of the unknown, and death remains the ultimate unknown. It is human nature to want to understand and make sense of the world around us. The reality is that death can never be fully understood by anyone who is living.

Fear of Non-Existence

Some people fear that they will completely cease to exist after death occurs. We might typically associate this fear with atheists or others without personal spiritual or religious beliefs. Yet, people of faith can also worry that their belief in an afterlife isn't real, or that they did not earn eternal life while alive.

Fear of Eternal Punishment

This is similar to the fear of non-existence in that it does not apply only to devout believers of religion or those with spiritual faith. Many people — regardless of their religious persuasion or spiritual beliefs — have a fear of death as that is when they will be punished for what they did or did not do while here on earth.

Fear of Loss of Control

Human nature generally seeks to control the situations we encounter, but death remains something over which we have absolutely no control. This lack of control frightens many people.

Some may attempt to exert some form of control over death by behaving in an extremely careful manner to avoid risks or by undergoing rigorous, frequent health checks.

Fear of What Will Become of Our Loved Ones

Another common death fear focuses on the worry of what will happen to those who rely on our care if we die. Parents, for example, might worry about a newborn or child.

Individuals providing home-based caregiving to a loved one might fear that no one else can handle their patient's many needs and demands. Someone in the prime of their life might feel afraid at the thought of leaving a spouse or partner alone due to death.

Normal vs. Unhealthy Fear of Dying

In general, the fear of death can be healthy. When we have a fear of dying, we often act more carefully and take appropriate precautions to minimize risks, such as wearing our seat belts or taking the time to put on a bike helmet.

A healthy fear of death can also remind us to make the most of our time here on Earth and to feel grateful for everything we have. Fearing the reality of death might also push us to work harder in order to leave a lasting legacy.

George Bernard Shaw perhaps summed it up best by saying, "I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live."

On the other hand, a fear of death can sometimes prove so severe that it interferes with someone's daily life. Called thanatophobia, this intense, often irrational fear of death can consume someone's thoughts. It may even affect the most basic decisions they make, such as refusing to leave the house just to bring in the mail.

Summary

Being afraid of death is natural and many people share in this fear to some extent. If you suspect your fear has risen to the level of thanatophobia, it is best to seek assistance from a trained mental health professional.

Frequently Asked Questions

  • Why are we scared of death?

    Reasons why death is scary can be related to fears of the unknown, of non-existence, of eternal punishment, of the loss of control, or fear of what will happen to the people we love.

  • Is death the greatest fear?

    While research indicates that just over 20% of people have a fear of dying, this fear varies depending on a person's sex, age, and health status. Other fears, including the fear of public speaking, affect approximately the same percentage of people.

9 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
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  2. Chapman University Survey of American Fears. America’s top fears 2017.

  3. New York Post. Here are Jerry Seinfeld’s 10 funniest jokes.

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  5. Krause N, Pargament KI, Ironson G. In the shadow of death: Religious hope as a moderator of the effects of age on death anxiety. J Gerontol. 2018;73(4):696-703. doi:10.1093/geronb/gbw039

  6. Dadfar M, Lester D, Bahrami F. Death anxiety, reliability, validity, and factorial structure of the Farsi form of the Arabic Scale of Death Anxiety in Iranian old-aged persons. J Aging Res. 2016;2016:2906857. doi:10.1155/2016/2906857

  7. National Institute on Aging. What are palliative care and hospice care?

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Additional Reading

By Angela Morrow, RN
Angela Morrow, RN, BSN, CHPN, is a certified hospice and palliative care nurse.